The Sandwich

My preoccupation with the government’s inability to contemplate the possibility that people who aren’t cohabiting might still want to be able to have sex under lockdown is well documented here and here. In fact just the other day I was perusing the rules yet again (though not for sex-related reasons) and discovered a hitherto unnoticed loophole. If you are living in a household with other adults, one of you is allowed to form a support bubble with someone from another household, as long as none of the other people you live with have done so. Which means that one of the three single women that make up my household could have been having sex all along. How we would have chosen which one of us gets to shag, while maintaining household harmony, is another matter. Setting up a cleaning rota was complicated enough. However, it turns out that you can change your support bubble, as long as you wait ten days in between people. Which means that all this time, each of us could have been having sex once a month. At the beginning of lockdown I would have considered this parsimonious. One year in, it looks positively abundant. Indeed, some married couples of my acquaintance would consider it unnecessarily generous.

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